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I can’t cook a roast
Who else has been learning more about themselves during lockdown? I thought that after all these years with myself there'd be little more to know. But Covid-19 has given us a challenge and, as with every new challenge, I'm having to evaluate the best way forward, as we all are.
Thanks to my toddler insisting that I needed to cook over the weekend I've definitely learnt that I can't cook a roast. I can cook carrots, I can cook sweed, I can even make gravy, but not a roast. Don't feel too sorry for him, I know a good roast is a British favourite, but he has plenty of good roast chefs in his life. I'm much better suited to the day to day cooking needs of the house, or when cake is required. I just hope the little one doesn't end up with a roast as his favourite meal.
I've learnt some other random things as well, like, I still feel the need to wear even the smallest amount of makeup and do my hair when I know nobody will see me. I know that's strange when everyone else is living in full slouch mode at home, but it really does help me feel awake and ready for the day ahead. I'm working on it, but I've still not managed a full day without some makeup yet. I also only ever drink tea when there's plenty of time to sit. I need to feel like I have time to sit and enjoy, despite drinking it pretty much straight out of the kettle. Needless to say, our tea bags are going down a lot quicker at the moment.
But it's not just the random day to day habits, or where my cooking abilities fail me that I've noticed, there some bigger things too. For example, I've learnt that I'm happier in my own company (even if my toddler's there) than I realised. Don't get me wrong, I'd still love to be physically helping at my parent's farm, at classes and having play dates, but I'm not missing the pressure of arranging our week. Recently I've put a lot of pressure on myself to be busy, but maybe it's just because I feel I should be busy with my boy. Everyone else is busy, everyone else is seeing lots of friends, so shouldn't we be? Then there's the guilt of having such a small circle of friends, the worry that my little boy is missing out by not having more baby or adult friends around him. But now, although I'm missing reality, I'm at least enjoying more of my time at home than I thought possible.
I've also learnt the importance of peace and quiet in my life. In our busy day to day pre lockdown life I'm constantly battling to get out the door, stick to routines and clean the house. But having more time to stop and just appreciate the quiet while I watch my little boy play outside (he's sometimes quiet), or when I take him on a walk to get him to nap, has really helped me when things get on top of me. It's like the quiet helps to de-clutter my mind. I even feel more inspired in the quiet and I write a lot of my blogs while I sit and wait for my little boy to fall asleep at night.
I don't like the lockdown life but I really do appreciate the simplicity it brings to my household, the time to stop and reflect and really just be us. So, while I can't change lockdown, or make this virus go away, I'm going to do my best to take something away from all of this, something I will hopefully appreciate when normality starts to return.
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I can relate to so much of this. I don't have children but this quarantine has taught me a lot about myself. I am definitely an introvert through and through and love being at home but oh how I miss being able to browse a store or go sit in a coffee shop to work. Taking it one day at a time is all that we can do and that is good enough! - Joanna