Still me, still Kara



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Taking on 2020

Can't talk about 2020 without a face mask

So there you have it, 2020 is pretty much over. The year that told us to stay at home, made us stock up on toilet rolls for no apparent reason and got us all swapping our jeans and trousers for jogging bottoms is almost over. We grew our hair or tried to be hairdressers, turned our homes into our offices, schools, playgrounds and spas and spent more money on home improvements than holidays through the times we'll never forget.

Looking back at my own 2020 I can't help but feel a little sad to start with. We had sleepless nights and tears as my little one struggled with the ever changing guidelines. I mostly failed to reconnect with friends and had my own struggles with others. I missed my dream holiday in Rhodes with the chance to escape the same four walls never returning. All while missing that ever important routine with classes, activities, friends and family that stops everything feeling like Groundhog Day.

I could easily dwell on all of those things and so much more, but I think there's something better than the sadness that I can take away. For example the lessons I learnt, with the biggest lesson for me being how to survive day to day in my own home. I know that sounds like the craziest thing to need to learn, but since having my little one, getting out and being busy has been my safety net. To be honest I think we've probably gone too far the other way now, but hey we're mostly home, happy and keeping safe.

Then there's the time the year has given me. Ok, a lot of time was taken away too with the toddler dropping his naps and the other half working non-stop, but there's been something far more important. Time with my two year old. I know I'm a stay at home mum and I'd get to see him all day every day anyway, but 2020 has given us more time as just the two of us than I could dream of. Of course there were the days where I wanted to scream, I was desperate for five minutes to myself and just wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, just to experience peace, but that's just being a mum. It was all balanced out with us learning together, playing together and me being able to simply watch him grow into quite a head strong little boy. All of that time was priceless.

Our last coffee out before lockdown

Then there's the new appreciation I have for so many things, but there's nothing I've learnt to appreciate more than company. Whether it's the company of my family or a friend, it doesn't really matter. It's just amazing to spend time with people from outside of our own household really isn't it. Having the chance to talk about something other than what's for dinner, who last fed the cat or when we need to put the next load of washing on. I know that the ability to have company has been really limited this year, even getting company to go on a walk at times has been a struggle, but every time it's been possible it's been so appreciated.

I've even been given some confidence this year. Not in myself, I've eaten far too many lockdown feasts for that, but the confidence to improve our family home which is important too. We've been debating on whether to do home improvements or move that bit closer to family for far too long now. I'd be lying if I I said there weren't times I wish I could move on, have a fresh start and try again, but overall I'm starting to feel a little more content with our decision. It might be a pain that we're going to have to live with freshly plastered walls for a while now but we can finally stop and settle. We might be a little further away from the farm, some family than we'd like to be, but on the whole we've seen that we're still pretty lucky where we are and moving costs are pretty horrific anyway.

Then this year gave us Teddy the cat. Bringing a little kitten home certainly taught me that kittens are far easier to appreciate when they aren't your own. Though, I can't help but feel a bit proud that Teddy has firmly wedged himself into our little family and genuinely wants to spend time with us. He's destroyed our dining chairs, killed off a couple of our house plants with his initial toileting issues and continues to stink out the house every morning, but he's ours. He's my little boy's best friend, our source of entertainment and that extra little bit of life around the house so I guess that means we're sticking together.

This year might have knocked my confidence, my little boy's confidence, made us feel lonely and maybe a bit lost but we're still here. We have our home, each other and are so very lucky to say we've not currently lost anyone close to us with the virus. As if that wasn't enough, we've looked for the smiles in the everyday, the bright sides of our story and made our own routines. So, when I look back at 2020, I won't look at it as a year lost, I'll look at it as the year that I was one of the lucky ones. It might have left some challenges ahead for us to overcome, but if we can get through 2020 surely we can get through nearly anything. 

Super parents
I'll always love Christmas

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Thursday, 18 April 2024