It's been a few weeks of lockdown, don't ask me how many because I've completely lost count, but this last week has felt the toughest so far for me. It's difficult to admit that because I always like to look on the bright side of things, and I almost never say when things get me down. But sometimes admitting that things are feeling tough is the best way to start to feel better.
I don't know what's made the last week so tough because overall I'm pretty lucky. I have a gorgeous little boy who despite the current situation, laughs every day and loves making me smile. Plus we've had sunshine, plenty of custard creams to feed my toddlers new addiction, and we're just about managing to keep enough sand in the sandpit to make it worthwhile, and I almost like that our patio feels like the beach.
I'm sure I'm not the only person feeling like this, and that's why I wanted to write this. Even though I have so much going for me, I'm struggling with every day feeling the same. I'm missing the routines I built up to get me through each week, the things that motivated me to get up and face the day but that's ok. Sometimes just need to remember that it's ok not to feel ok.
Instead of giving myself a hard time last week, I tried to give myself a break. When I've struggled to write a blog, which has been pretty much every day, I watched some rubbish TV shows instead. Each time my toddler has refused an activity I suggested, which has been pretty much every activity, I've let him take the lead instead, even if that's meant an hour of watching Peppa Pig. I've thrown schedules and expectations on myself out of the window and have just concentrated on the things we need and the things that make us happy.
It does feel a lot like a never-ending summer holiday right now, those times are just as bad with toddlers because all our usual activities stop, but it will come to an end one day. Until then I've just got to remember to be kind to myself. I might not know how to make next week better, but I can still wake up each morning and face each new day as it comes.